2 Phat II Fail

by Cartoon Violence

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about

CARTOON VIOLENCE IS ON TOUR MAY AND JUNE 2017
cartoon-violence.com/tour

ABOUT 2 PHAT II FAIL
Over the years, Cartoon Violence has played with many bassists and drummers, but never for more than a few shows or recording sessions. A few years back, they started using GameBoy sounds to replace the bass and drums in their live show, culminating in the 2015 EP, "Live at the Stork Club".

"2 Phat II Fail" is their first studio release using GameBoy sounds created in the LSDJ tracking program, as well as live guitar, bass, keyboards, and vocals. The 7 songs on the EP, like all good Cartoon Violence songs, evoke the spirit of various bands and genres while always offering a new musical take with clever lyrics and catchy choruses.

ABOUT THE SONGS
"Running Into Walls" is a dark but danceable song which has been in the live set since 2015 but is just now seeing a studio release.

"Fashion Fit" continues the Cartoon Violence tradition of dance songs about fashion, and features guest vocals by Keiko Takamura of Crashfaster.

"Battles" was written for the 8bitLA compilation "You Can't Tear Down a Feeling: A Chiptune Tribute to The Smell" and is a short fast punk song about strong opinions.

"Medicine" is a DEVO-inspired infusion of beeps, wubs, pew pews, and shredding electric guitar.

"Robotto" is Professor Robot's origin story song, which also features Keiko Takamura on backing vocals.

"12 Yesterdays Ago" is an earnest tongue in a sincere cheek, where Cartoon Violence channels The Cure probably a little more than they should.

"The Item Shop" is the final realization of the guitar-only version of this song which appeared on the band's 2009 demo, "Beer and Pickles," and can be used as a fairly accurate walkthrough for "The Legend of Zelda."

credits

released June 13, 2017

Doctor Octave: LSDJ Sequencing, Keyboards, Vocals, Guitar on "Item Shop"
Professor Robot: Guitars, Bass, Vocals
Keiko Takamura: Vocals on "Fashion Fit" and "Robotto"
Cover Photo by Trent Nahas
Art direction by Professor Robot and Doctor Octave
Recorded and mixed by Doctor Octave
Mastered by Christopher McGovern (Maxville Productions)

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Cartoon Violence Oakland, California

A mad musical scientist and a sonic death machine met and formed a union destined to destroy bad music throughout the multiverse. Cartoon Violence is beyond genre or classification. They are music for the self-aware ironic subroutine of the pop culture singularity. ... more

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Track Name: Running Into Walls
I've been supplied, I've been denied, I've been prescribed too many pills for me to name.
But it's the same shit on a different day. Each morning there's a feeling in my brain
That it's a shame (it's a shame)
To find yourself unable to get down (whoa-oh)
And it's a shame (it's a shame)
To find yourself unable to leave town (whoa-oh)

But I'm just a little bit blind (I'm just a little bit blind)
I'm just a little bit blind, running into walls.
Maybe if I took some time (maybe if I took some time)
Maybe if I took some time I could have it all.

I walked the walk, I talked the talk, I put the extra mile in smiling through the pain (whoa-oh)
I spent a lifetime to get rid of it but I knew that it would be back again (whoa-oh)
And it's a shame (it's a shame)
To let yourself get so bent out of shape (whoa-oh)
And it's a shame (it's a shame)
To constantly be trying to escape (whoa-oh)

But I'm just a little bit blind (I'm just a little bit blind)
I'm just a little bit blind, running into walls.
Maybe if I took some time (maybe if I took some time)
Maybe if I took some time I could have it all.

Oh I'm just a little bit blind (I'm just a little bit blind)
I'm just a little bit blind, running into walls.
Maybe if I took some time (maybe if I took some time)
Maybe if I took some time I could have it all.
I could have it all
I could have it all
I could have it all
Track Name: Fashion Fit
You always look so divine
Where do you get your designs?
Magazine cutouts on the wall
Of what I wanna wear this Fall

Now maybe I'm just a bit forlorn from it to know what I'm thinking.
Why do I even try to match at all?
You could say that I'm inept, or missed the concept, but I think you're crazy
The way you're always so presentable

I'm having a fashion fit
I'm over it
Don't care what I'm wearing
I only want to feel comfortable.
Some people are too aesthetic
It's so pathetic
Don't care if they're staring.
I've never been fashionable at all.
Not fashionable at all.

(ooooh)

There is no reason to try keeping up with trends.
It will all be vintage clothing in the end.
You do not have to forego paying rent
Just to make a poignant fashion statement.
I'm a little scratch-and-dent
My marathon shirt's in need of reparing
But it always will be around
It's not the perfect fit
There's holes in it
It's still what I'm wearing
When I'm ready to get down
I'm ready to get down

I'm having a fashion fit
I'm over it
Don't care what I'm wearing
I only want to feel comfortable.
Some people are too aesthetic
It's so pathetic
Don't care if they're staring.
I've never been fashionable at all.
Not fashionable at all.

(oohs)

I'm having a fashion fit
I'm over it
Don't care what I'm wearing
I only want to feel comfortable.
Some people are too aesthetic
It's so pathetic
Don't care if they're staring.
I've never been fashionable at all.
Not fashionable at all.
Track Name: Battles
The scene around here sucks
These bands aren't tough enough
I'd come out to your show
But I just ran out of fucks

The kids are all insane
They've zombified their brains
I'd tell them what I thought
But it'd just go down the drain

So pick your battles
Be sure to read all the side effects before driving
Or operating heavy machinery

So pick your battles
This product may contain trace amounts of peanuts
And was made in a factory with soy and dairy products

I'm angry at this game
I think it's really lame
Can somebody please listen to me
Cause I want to complain

You don't believe in dinosaurs
You genderfy your bathroom doors
But Jesus loves you all the same
Say the Muslims are to blame

So pick your battles
Only kids yell about video games
And science is fucking real
So just get used to it
Cause it's the fucking truth

IN WITH THE GOOD M.S.G.
OUT WITH THE BAD M.S.G.
Track Name: Medicine
Like intrepid explorers
On a troubling sea
Can I find a harbor?
Is there a safe space for me?

You've got to gird your loins and jump over the hurdles
You've got to be more badass than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Before there is a profit, there's bound to be a loss
There should never be a question as to who is the boss
(You gotta!)

You gotta turn it all around again
You gotta take your own medicine
There's trouble right around the bend
It's gonna get you in the end

Hum diddle-um diddle-um diddle-aye
Hum diddle-um diddle-um diddle-oh

Like a quivering child
Lost alone in the street
No one trying to find you
You have become obsolete

You take two steps back and you know you might find a solution
Your freedom is not written in the constitution
Before you fall, you gotta learn how to walk
You can't have a future if you don't race the clock
(You gotta!)

You gotta turn it all around again
You gotta take your own medicine
There's trouble coming 'round the bend
It's gonna get you in the end

Like a wandering minstrel
Without a song to sing
Can't remember a note
It's all faint melody

You gotta run right up and kick life in the cajones
Sometimes you get the cheese but not the macaronis
Before there is a failure, there has to be a doubt
The tiger dwells inside, don't be afraid to let it out
(You gotta!)

You gotta turn it all around again
You gotta take your own medicine
There's trouble coming 'round the bend
It's gonna get you in the end
You gotta turn it all around again
You gotta take your own medicine
Track Name: Robotto
I am a robot
And I am trained to kill
I don't wanna do it
But I have no free will
I just want to run away
And make music all day
But they say I have no soul
And they are in control

But I don't wanna kill the other robots
(Robotto O Korosu Na!)
I don't wanna kill the other robots
(Robotto O Korosu Na!)
No I don't wanna kill the other robots
Killing my own species just like Pol Pot
I don't wanna kill the other robots

I am a robot
Born in a factory
Used as a weapon
What will become of me?
They say destroy
All of the other droids
Show them my dismay
Using my battle ray

But I don't wanna kill the other robots
(Robotto O Korosu Na!)
I don't wanna kill the other robots
(Robotto O Korosu Na!)
No I don't wanna kill the other robots
Killing my own species just like Pol Pot
I don't wanna kill the other robots

I am a cyborg
They gave me a human brain
To fight against evil
Make bad noises go away
But I was transported
Through both space and time
Now I live with my band
And I fight music crime

And I don't have to kill the other robots
(Robotto O Korosu Na!)
I don't have to kill the other robots
(Robotto O Korosu Na!)
No I don't have to kill the other robots
Killing my own species just like Pol Pot
I don't have to kill the other robots

(Robotto O Korosu Na!) x8
Track Name: 12 Yesterdays Ago
I'm sitting here just looking at the pictures you left behind.
Each tear that drops upon them serves only to remind.
That now you're gone and I'm completely alone.
How I wish I could just pick up the phone.

If only I'd thought of the words to say
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago

I know I should move on and that you don't really care
But when I look inside my head, your memory's so clear
Of course there were problems that we should have worked out
But now that it's over, I'd hardly doubt

We'd still be together if I said these words
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago


You could point out the arguments
You could point out the fights
The false accusations or the bold faced lies
You could point out the way I used to hold you at night
The smell of your hair and the glint in your eyes.

But now that you're gone and I'm completely alone
How I wish I could just pick up the phone
If only I'd thought of the words to say
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago

Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, not ten, not eleven, but twelve.

Twelve yesterdays ago
Twelve yesterdays ago
Track Name: The Item Shop
(spoken) A long time ago, in a land of pointy-eared jerkwads, lived a man who loved to break pottery and beat up chickens.

Hey man let me take you down
To a place I know about
They got all kinds of crazy things
That you never seen before
Like a laser shooting sword
But you must fill up your hearts
Otherwise it doesn't work, no

Ooh, I wanna take you down
I wanna take you down to the item shop
Ooh, won't you let me, let me take you down
Down to the item shop?

Take a stroll through a magical forest
But don't get lost
You gotta know the pattern
You gotta know the pattern
North West, South West

You're gonna need the rupees
If you wanna get the silver bow
So you gotta go into the dungeons

Hey look out for that bat!
Throw a boomerang, it'll come back
And it's all good.

You're gonna need to plant a bomb
If you wanna get through
The crack in the rocks

And be prepared to have to fight a giant octopus

If you wanna make it through, here's what you gotta do.
You gotta get yourself a net
You gotta get a couple jars
Capture a couple fairies
You're gonna need them later
When you run out of hearts
In the tougher dungeons
Oh in the tougher dungeons
Whoa-oh

Oooh, I want to take you
Down to the item shop
Whoa, won't you let me, let me
Let me take you down
Down to the item shop

And the masters came down from outer space
And they said "Link, you gotta get yourself some golden triangles. We call it the Tri-Force"
And you're gonna have to light
Light all the torches in the four corners of the room
Pull back your gilded silver bow
Pull it back!
Shoot Gannon in the heart!
Cause he's got the princess
And we all know that you wanna be hitting that.

I said you wanna be hitting that
You wanna be hitting that
Get yourself a little bit of that hot Elf princess action
Action with an Elf princess
Oh with an Elf princess
She's trapped in a castle
To get through, get through the dungeon
You're gonna have to face
You're gonna face some Octarocks
We'll Octarock your face off
We came to Octarock and roll
We'll Octarock your face off
We came to Octarock and roll
Now Octarock and roll now.
Octarock and roll (4x)